How Far Do We Have To Go, My Hairs Already Gone?
Once upon a time, far, far away, there lived a beautiful young girl called Rapunzel.
She may sound like a lovely sweet, little girl that is perfect in everything, I thought she was too. Then I found out she was, until the wicked witch cut off her beautiful long blond hair. She was no longer a sweet calm little girl, she was furious, had a really bad tempure and that’s were the adventure began.
One dark misty day Rapunzel walked down the dirty track to where the big bad wolf lived. The wolf was shocked; he nearly jumped out his fur when the wolf first took one glance at Rapunzel.
Then he said, “What happened to you? You look horrible and your hair… Ok, I’m just not going there”.
“I know” Rapunzel whimpered. “It was that fat ugly wicked witch that filthy person she only thinks about her fat ugly self. It took me my hole 23 years to grow hair. I’m no longer the sweet lovely darling that everyone thinks I am, I’ve changed and no one can stop me now. Now wolf we need a plan, a smart plan to get rid of that fat witch.”
“Ah” The wolf said. “Do you have a plan?”
Rapunzel replied happily, “No I never have a plan, you should no that by now.” she slapped the wolf because she was annoyed with him.
“Oh Rapunzel you scared my food away I was starving and now I can’t eat anything because of you!”
“ Oh just shut up” Rapunzel said. Then she slapped him again even harder this time.
“ Owe”. The wolf said, “Stop doing that that’s the second time all ready”.
Just then Rapunzel had a great idea “ You said you were hungry right. Rapunzel said with a smile on her dial.
“Well dur until you scared my food away.
“ Pull yourself together foul, I have an idea.
“Oh” the wolf said. “ What is it?”
“Wolf I need to ask you a question for my plan to work.” Rapunzel said (as she thought wolf was a mirror.)
“ Ok ask away.”
“Wolf, wolf who is the richest of them all.
“ Why me of course.” Said the wolf a bit scared that Rapunzel will slap him again.
“ Wolf, wolf who REALLY is the richest of them all.”
“ The handsome prince.”
“ Were can I find this prince.” Rapunzel asked.
“You can find him in the hills of the song replied the wolf.”
Not your stupid song you…. you… oh never mind, this is a PG story
“OK you will find him in the richest, highest, most widest, most…um...I haven’t actually located the location yet, but I have got a picture for you of the house.”
“Pass it over wolffi I’m sick to death of your fun and games ITS TIME TO GET SERIOS” she said very wisely. He handed it over and that was the end of that chapter.
The next day the beautiful (well at least she thought) Rapunzel and the fat wolf (because he ate to much pie that night) travelled through the dirt and the mud, though a the prana pound to get to the handsome Prince Charming,
Hold on a sec we all remember prince charming form the Shrek movies don’t we,
He’s not an evil prince, well at least not in this story because this is a twist not a straight.
As soon as they got there they were surprise to see one of the loveliest place they had ever been to. It really makes you think twice about being evil.
“Hold on hold on” the wolf screamed (as he though he was a director) “Rapunzel why are we going to find the prince anyway?”
The answer to this is that prince charming loves evil girls and its all part of my diabolical plan.
Soon after they rang the doorbell and the prince happened to come to the door and royally let them in. Rapunzel thought she was in heaven when she first saw the prince Then the wolf said, “No wonder they call you prince charming” looking at his tights. Snap out of it wolf, Rapunzel whispered madly trying to keep a smile on her dial.
“So prince charming, where’s the canteen.”
Its down the hall but you can go well I stay here and show rapunzel to the bedroom, I mean that as you are going to stay the night, aren’t you?
The Prince went over to the wolf, Thinking that the wolf was rapunzel “you can take the left, the rights mine baby, He whispered. Then the wolf squalled, “excuse me” “were you talking to me.” No, no the prince quickly answered.
Then the wolf whispered in rapunzels ear, “Watch out rapunzels he’s a wild hunk.”
That night prince charming’s mum/the witch, came over for tea that night prince charming had forgotten to tell them that his mother was coming. As soon as the witch walk in the door rapunzel screamed, and prince charming ran in from the kitchen and rapunzel said, “ Do something, “We can’t let that fat best into your castle prince. Before prince charming could say anything Rapunzel yelled wolf suck her body in. Then the wolf said, “ Well this saves me the trouble of walking down to the canteen.” In one long big suck the princes’ mother was in the wolves belly. Then the prince said, “ What were you thinking Rapunzel.” I was looking out for you darling. How, How could you? That’s my mummy. So what, your telling me you think you have problems, You didn’t grow up in a stuffy old tower, or never seen your parents, your mother is a witch and that’s coming for the heart, she was my mother after she clamed to kill my first, but I know it’s a lie. I have a family somewhere out there and I will find them, but for now you need to respect me then rapunzel burst out in song, that’s r.e.s.p.e.c.t find out what it means to me r.e.s.p.e.c.t take out the e.c.t, its when you respect, just a little bit HEY just a little bit ooooohhhhhh yea.
“Oh shut up rapunzel your going to burst my ear drums with that horrible singing your doing.” “Well you filthy…” Then rapunzel stopped. Doesn’t matter anyway, I’m leaving and there’s nothing you can do about it! Good day sir. She said in a beaming voice. But rapunzel… I said good day. Then she slammed the door shut leaving the prince to his misery and the wolf with his tail stuck in the door. “Rapunzel” the wolf sang out. I think we’ve got a little bit of a huge problem here.
Come on wolf get a move on fatty. Then the prince dialled 111 and the police came over in a cloud of dust. As soon as rapunzel saw the police she ran and called out WOLF, I’ll be in my secret hide out. Then the police saw the wolf and pointed their guns at the wolf and pocked him for an answer. He told them everything but one little detail. Which is that rapunzel is the wolf’s best and only friend. Then they set off to search for rapunzel right away. They took the wolf and the prince with them. They took the wolf so he could tell them some more clues. They took the prince so he could rub it in her face when she gets arrested. So, ah wolf, can I call you that. “ NO” said the wolf “ Call me, um, j, j James. Ok j, j James said the police officer smiling and laughing. “Tell me where this rapunzel is.” “NOW” he boomed. “ NO never in a million years.” “ If you tell where she is I will give you a yummy chocolate chip sandwiches.” “Y, YUMMY” He said as the police officer waved the sandwiches in front of the wolf’s nose. “ Ok, ok I give in I will lead you to where Rapunzel is. Just before they left the head police officer said,
“ Ok fellers listen in I have a idea.” “When we get there the wolf will say come out Rapunzel the cost is clear. So then Rapunzel will come out and we will appear from behind and catch her and she will be hand cuffed and we will sent her to jail for her 1 day.” That is a very good diabolical plan lets go”, the wolf said thinking about the chocolate sandwiches.
Finally after 1 whole hour we arrived there and the wolf did what he had to do. He said, “ Rapunzel it’s me, the wolf, you can come out now, its safe.” So Rapunzel walked out and in a flash Rapunzel was hand cuffed and been put in the back of the police car. “ Great work guys. Especially you wolf, here’s your sandwiches, and you deserved it, well done.” “ Thank you.” The wolf said quietly trying not to make Rapunzel hear him.
“Was this your entire idea wolf?” Rapunzel said in a mad voice.
“Kind of, but they were tempting me with a yummy chocolate chip sandwich.”
“So our friendship means nothing more to you than a sandwich!”
“Not any sandwich MY LUNCH you’re not an animal, you wouldn’t understand. It’s so much harder when you have a stronger sent of smell.” The prince wouldn’t stop rubbing it in her face that she got caught. Then Rapunzel asked,
“ I’m just asking but why am I going to jail anyway?”
“ Don’t play dumb with me Rapunzel.” “ I’m not.”
“ Yes you are. The prince said you robbed a bank so why wouldn’t you go to jail for that crime.”
“ What?” Rapunzel said confused?
“You robbed a bank.” Said the police officer also confused.
“No I didn’t!”
“What do you mean you didn’t?”
“I swear on my life, I didn’t rob a bank.”
“Prince charming can you explain what Rapunzel really did.”
“Fine, fine all she did was make this wolf here eat up my mother.”
Rapunzel started whistling like she didn’t do anything.
“You mean she didn’t rob a bank, or shot your mum with a gun, all she did was make the wolf, eat your mum.” “Yea. So now are you going to put the wolf in jail instead of me?” Said Rapunzel happy that she might not go to jail and the wolf will instead. “No of course not. We can’t send a live animal to jail. I’m sorry but you have to take the wolves place in jail, you’ll go for a day.”
“And as for you prince charming you’ll go tomorrow so you’re not in there with Rapunzel.” “But I want to go today so I can be in there with my beloved Rapunzel.”
“ Put a sock in it hot tights,” She said looking at his new green (which is Rapunzel’s favourite colour) tights.
“No, we said tomorrow.”
“ Fine but if you put me in with Rapunzel I am a billion air. I was going to flush a million princes (which is the money,) down the toilet, but I think I could give it to you for a small favour, because you are my favourite police cop in all.” “Fine, ok” said the cop dribbling. After the prince and Rapunzel were in jail he walk a little bit and screamed “ THANK YOU GOD!!! I never believed in you before but now I know, MIRICSLS CAN HAPPEN.”
Now, back to the story.
After that one day the police let the prince out of jail on there time schedule. On the other hand, Rapunzel was asleep and she woke up from the noise of the keys. She whispered, “ Where are you going.” “Doesn’t matter, just don’t follow me.” Said the prince a bit afraid that Rapunzel will follow him. Like usual, Rapunzel did go after him. The officers caught Rapunzel, not the prince. So because Rapunzel got caught and the officers thought Rapunzel was trying to brake out they made her stay in for one more day.
She saw the prince and said, “Why are you back here. I thought you would go home, or did you get caught like me?” “Did you get caught?” “Yea.” “But I told you… You came after me didn’t you?” “ Yes. And I’m really sorry.” Prince charming can you get me out of here, Please.” She begged. “ Ok, but you have to be silent.” “ Ok.” Slowly the prince opened the doors and saw the officers coming so he ran and again Rapunzel got caught and now has two more days in jail. “ No!” Rapunzel cried. The next day Rapunzel kept saying to her self, “one more day to go only one more day to go.” Then she saw the prince AGAIN and said. “No way, not this time, I’m not falling for your silly tricks again. Because of you I had to have two more days in this horrible place, so don’t try to get me out, I’m fed up.” “ Fine then. I won’t get you out.” “Good, I would rather stay in here for the last day, then get caught again and face another day of misery.” “ Ok good day.” “Yes, good day.” And the prince was just about to walk out the door when Rapunzel called out, “Call me darling!” “ Sure.” Said the prince sarcastically.
The next day a miracle happened in the night. The next morning Rapunzel screamed, not because that she was being let out of prison today, and not that the prince called her on her phone…
But that her hair was as long as it was before the witch cut it off, she was so happy.
That day the police officers came to let her out, they said, “ There you go Rapunzel your times up, your free to go.” “ But I don’t want to go, not without my once a poon a time phone call from the prince.” “ Why don’t you just call him on the phone over there?” Said the police officer pointing at the phone. “ Then Rapunzel ran as fast as she could to hear the voice of her darling prince charming. She was so happy and never left the phone.
And that was he end of the story.
It was so sad wasn’t it?
Oh sorry I forgot to introduce myself I’m the wolf and I was one who was telling that
Pg story and now you may start reading, The True Story Of Rapunzel The 2nd.
By Anna and Lucy.
Friday, 29 June 2007
How Far Do We Have To Go, My Hairs Already Gone?